What Adds Fuel To My Fire

And they read from the book, from the law of God, translating to give the sense so that they understood the reading – Neh. 8:8

I am fully blessed and rewarded by God each day that I have the privilege of digging deep into the Scriptures. I need to do this regularly. It is like a drug for me that meets a need and helps me to serve on with joy and determination.

Having my own personal devotions daily is not enough for me. It is important and it is necessary, but not nearly enough. My heart longs for more. I want to know God more and to fellowship with Him in truth. This is the reason why I long to every week to preach, not just one message on Sundays, but two – that is two different messages. Preaching and teaching comes easy for me. It is not because I am smart or talented, God knows otherwise. It is because God has gifted me in that area and I use it to get to know Him more.

Therefore, for me, I have the greatest of pleasure when I go deep into the debts of God’s Word in my study. I feel at times that I am a better student of God’s Word than a preacher of it. That is, if you were to step into my skin and be part of my study time and then remain in my skin and be part of my preaching time, you may conclude that I am more fulfilled in my study than in the preaching or communication of God’s Word. I just love it and can’t get enough of it.

That’s why at the very beginning of New Hope West Oahu, I created the 8:30 service in addition to the 10:30 service. I knew we would only have enough people initially present to really have one service. And since we are a satellite church where we show the message of our senior pastor whenever he is available to preach, that cuts into my own time to preach. So I decided to have two services, one to show the satellite message (10:30) and the other for me to preach, in order to fulfill the longing of my heart.

We have been doing this for the past six years. And what makes this more of a blessing for me is that most Sundays now, both services – the 8:30 and 10:30 are open for me to preach live. Taking one message and preaching it twice would be a downer for me. I got so much to share, so much to pass on from God’s Word, so much that I want to teach as a means to edify the saints that preaching one message twice would not work well for me. I must preach two messages one in each service.

Call me selfish – and you’re probably right. But I can’t help it. I am in love with God and I have a passion to relentlessly pursue the truth so that preaching twice on Sundays is merely a temporary outlet to hold me over.

If it were up to me, I would preach and teach six days a week and rest only on one. Sometimes people ask, “Do you run out of topics and material to preach on?” I laugh on the inside. I got so much things from God’s Word that I am aching to share. The frustrating part for me is not being able to share it.

So when I am not preaching and teaching as much as I long to, I have another outlet that is extremely fulfilling for me. I spend large amounts of time going deeper into the Word in my study. I wake up early and dig deep and I go to bed late at night digging deeper. I feast on theology, doctrine and the intricate details of God’s Word.

Like what it says in the passage above in Nehemiah 8, I long “to give the sense” of the Word that people whom I preach to may understand its message. This is my heart’s consuming passion. For me, nothing else matters as much.

I don’t sing, I don’t dance, I don’t do drama, and I am not that technically astute in the sound system or multimedia. But take away from me the ability to study and communicate God’s Word and I might as well die.

This another reason why I started “Fresh Bread” blogs. Writing blogs is another outlet for me to hold me over until another day. Even if I lost my church and was not preaching anywhere else, I would relentlessly study and write blogs because doing so is like taking a breath of air – I can’t help it.

When I am riding in my car, I listen to messages that explain the Word of God; when I pause for a moment during the day, I got messages and internet sites that I read on my iphone to fill me enough in order to move on in my next step.

I am not drawn to meetings with pastors or others who want to come together and talk programs, numbers and the latest cultural fad. I am drawn to those who believe that “as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17).

I am not excited to go hear a prophet share his or her latest predictions, most of the prophets today are so far removed from the prophets of the New Testament; I am not interested in attending services where people are so-called healed and where the audience is entertained to such an extent that they their “emotions” are raised to unbelievable heights leaving their heads and brains way behind. What excites me is when someone stands in the pulpit and unapologetically and passionately explains the meaning of a bible text so that the audience will leave with a greater understanding of God and as a result, know Him deeper.

Now this is just me – I don’t judge anyone else who differs.

I stated before how I long and passionately seek to preach and proclaim the Word on Sundays – twice when possible. What I did not say earlier is how it is soooooooo hard for me to give that privilege to anyone else.

You see, because I long to preach and teach, for me to step aside and let someone else do it is such a struggle for me. I would rather do it myself because I get so much spiritual value out of it. Regardless of whether there is one or one hundred people in the church, does not matter as long as what comes out of my mouth is the proclamation of God’s Word. When I am done preaching once or twice on Sundays, I am exhausted in a good and fulfilled way. So when I choose to give up my preaching assignment, I do so reluctantly. But when I do give it up, I do so because it is an honor for me to share the excitement and privilege that comes with preaching. I want others who know what I experience and what I feel and how it blesses me and draws me closer to knowing God. I am very disappointed when I see others that I allow to preach take lightly such a calling that they use the pulpit for personal benefits and gains. They are more concerned with the exhibition of self than the knowledge of God. But a few get it and I am so happy for their experience.

I screen very carefully my day and what I choose to get involved with. I have a few simply questions I ask myself when something comes up: “Will it take me away from my own personal study and prayer time and if so, how long? And, if I do attend, will it enhance my knowledge of God or distract from it?” (cf. Acts 6:1-5)

I hope that these blogs will be used by God to spiritually spur you on in your own walk with God. Sometimes when we hear things from the lives of others, God uses such things to challenge us. I will from time to time share things in this blog that are deep and personal to me. You may not agree with some of the things I share, but you will understand what God uses to add fuel to the fire my life. In the end, I hope you will also catch the fire of God and burn brightly for the Lord.